First entry

Ok, now I know why I avoided this for so long...its when it takes too much effort. I had to try three or four times to get this started and that frustrates me. I have little patience for things that do not work properly. I have little patience, period. Why? I have no idea. Maybe its because I always want things to go my way and when they don't I take it personally. This could be the summary of my life and all the events that have unfolded. I guess right now, I am somewhat at my end's rope and I need some way of releasing all the thoughts in my head and to express what I am feeling. I've been pretty moody these days and I may have been taking it out on my new husband. If only, I knew what would make me feel better or what would set me off into tears or rage. Maybe if life could be gentler. I don't really understand my life. It seems as though that in the end, I always get what I want, but the journey there is always very difficult; with many obstacles to overcome and great emotional turmoil. Is this supposed to help develop my character and make it stronger? I am not convinced that it is good for me. So, it will be interesting to see how this blog turns out. Hopefully, it will not be just an outlet for more complaining, although I do have a lot of things to complain about. Perhaps, this is because I am too centered on my own life and can no longer observe my surroundings and ponder those thoughts that come so freely to the mind. My mind is not free. It is riddled with past injustices, future uncertainties, and perpetual angst.